Brene Brown TED Talk “Daring Classrooms” "Do not ever question the power you have with the people you teach. Learning is inherently vulnerable and it's like you've got a classroom full of turtles without shells and the minute they put the shell back on they're protected from their peers from the teacher or whomever but no learning can come in because no vulnerability, no learning.” How can we create shame resilient classrooms? -Teachers can inflict the most damage, and heal the most wounds What is Shame? How is it different from guilt? -Shame belief that something about us that makes us unlovable -Shame is exacerbated by power differentials -Shame cannot survive being spoken -Shame is correlated with bullying -Shame is focus on self: I am bad (a belief) -Guilt is I did something bad (behaviour) -Humiliation - I did not deserve what happened (be pissed off) -Embarrassment- funny, we know we're not the only ones Antidote to shame is empathy. Secrecy, silence, and judgement feed shame. Shame can't survive empathy because empathy is “me too”. Perspective taking: what was this like for you? Shame Shields (defenses) “When you're holding this, you can't learn, and I can't see you.” August 11, 2017
“For me, teaching is about love. It is not about transferring information, but rather creating an atmosphere of mystery and imagination and discovery. When I begin to lose myself because of some unresolved pain or fears or the overpowering feelings of shame, then I no longer teach . . . I deliver information and I think I become irrelevant then.” (Daring Greatly, Brene Brown) What inspires you to open your heart in your classroom? What are the gifts that you have received through opening your heart? Do you have a story to share? As we lean into the deep practice of restorative justice, how will you dare greatly in your classroom in the Fall? I am inspired to open my heart in my classroom when I see how it encourages my students to do the the same. I am always amazed when I see how my honesty to be and show my true self, opens the door to conversations and connections with students. I love soccer and play in a spring and fall league on a women's team. I loved sharing my stories on Monday with the kids about soccer and in doing so, I got to hear their stories. One student I developed a strong relationship with was due to our shared love of soccer. Over the course of the summer she has emailed me and stayed in contact; letting me know she made her selects team and updating me on when her games will start in September so I can go and watch. This is just one example of opening up (beyond the classroom) that has lead to strengthened and more authentic connections with students. As I enter the classroom again in September, I am definitely excited as well as a bit anxious to see how I can connect with a build relationships with my new students. I know that there are a few students I have already taught, and I am excited to continue to strengthen those relationships. Over the summer I have been reading Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly. She touches on how being vulnerable (in our many roles - including teacher) can transform the way we teach and lead our students. I have taken a lot from the book and one thing I hope to use and infuse into my teaching this fall is practicing gratitude. Practising not only myself, but teaching and encouraging my students to find time to do the same.
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In her TED Talk, "The Healing Power of Dialogue", Margaret Thorsborne addresses the importance of storytelling and the power that comes through the expression of vulnerable feelings. I found that Vick Kelly's quote, "The expression of vulnerable feelings is the only pathway to reconnecting with others when relationships are broken," really highlighted the role and position of vulnerability the harmed person must take on and be responsible for in their own healing process. The quote acknowledges vulnerability and the 'big ask' that we discussed after our own oops and ouch sharing experience. To ask the harmed person to voluntarily open up and expose themselves is a lot to ask. However, as we are learning and experiencing as we do more circle work, the real healing comes from the dialogue, the sharing, and the recognition and validation that comes from sharing one's story and being heard. I think there is almost a feeling of power restored with the acknowledgement and then release of the toxic feelings that develop when one is harmed, and storytelling facilitates that.
In order for the processes that heal relationships to be authentic and repair the harm that has been done, there is a need for both the harmed and harmer to be self-aware and in touch with their feelings and emotions that arise. I learned quickly, during my first field study, that if a student can't empathize and/or is not willing to try and understand the hurt he/she has caused another student, circle facilitation can become quite challenging and frustrating. In her TED Talk, Margaret Thorsborne shares her own story to discuss the importance of repairing the harm done. She never had the chance to ask the girl who harmed her, why. There was no dialogue and therefore no opportunity for closure. Like she says, our first instant when we are hurt is to run away, withdraw, or attack back, all of which do nothing to promote healing. I think it's sad, but true that harm can alter the trajectory of one's life and the emotional fallout can shape who and what we become. In Margaret's case, she never had the opportunity to let the girl who harmed her know the impact of her words, or the shadow that they cast. "Healing of one is in the hands of the other" is a really powerful quote to convey the importance of both the harmed and the harmer being honest, vulnerable, and willing to repair. In order for the healing to occur both must come together. https://youtu.be/u1R_-3wzYEyoutu.be/u1R_-3wzYEQQ I found the workshop with Pascal on Project of Heart to be informative and useful. I appreciated the hands-on opportunity to work the resources and get a feel for how I can implement it in my classroom.
One of my hesitations around teaching the history of the residential schools in BC has been a lack of knowledge on my part, as well as an unfamiliarity with resources and materials that offer a true, authentic, and age-appropriate portrayal of this hidden history. The workshop and the online resources Pascale shared with us were educational and engaging; I found myself thinking about it and discussing it with colleagues. The TEDx talk on the power of the Arts to work with the "space between us" highlighted the role art can play in connecting people and communities. Michael Nicoll Yahgulanaas spoke of compartments; boxes that become caskets. This statement immediately brought me back to Pascale telling us that when the residential schools were built, deaths were anticipated and planned for. And when development plans for construction were drafted, instead of playgrounds cemeteries were given space instead. That really upset me and stuck with me. When Michael was speaking about the spaces between the boxes, he said they contain time, tragedy, but are also vibrant and alive. He said there is a way to take the caskets and turn the spaces between into gardens. This spoke to me, and again allowed me to reflect on the evening's workshop experience with Pascale and Project of Heart. RJE contributes to the creation of just and equitable learning environments in that it…
Practices build community and healthy school climates (i.e. class charters, circles) Social engagement over social control (i.e. ‘ways of being’, over teacher/school rules) Creates spaces of shared learning rather than imposing knowledge (circle structure encourgages equality, engagement, and respectful listen) RJE includes Social Emotional Learning as part of approach to explicitly teach students how to recognize and respond to emotions (i.e. appropriate and safe ways to react to difficult emotions that arise) RJE contributes to nurturing healthy relationships in that it… “RJE invites and encourages teachers to engage with students in a way that honours individuals in the context of their community” (2016, p.12). Recognizes whole student/individual (past experiences, heritage, values, background) RJE creates spaces for solving problems of the community, within the community (i.e. re-entry circles that involve everyone in the individual’s community- home, school, teams, etc.) Community focus approach (interconnection) (peer mediation, involves all parties) RJE contributes to repairing harm and transforming conflict by… Providing ways to move forward in constructive ways, rather than expulsion/suspension Views harm and conflict as a symptom of disconnect, looks more closely at cause of disconnect Views justice through a lens of healing and reconnection RJE offers alternatives for addressing harm and responding to conflict in a ways the focus on relationships and empathy (provides victims with answers to ‘why’ in safer context youtu.be/HiLtFVHR8Q0LINK Re-entry circle YouTube video In addition to what was added to my group’s original framework, there were several ideas addressed in the videos that I would elaborate on and try to implement into the framework. For instance, the exploration of “practical wisdom” and the notion that dealing with people demands a kind of flexibility that no set of rules can encompass. Administrators and teachers must be given the freedom to use their on judgment and improvise in certain disciplinary situations.
I agree with Barry, there is a need for rules and incentives; however, as he points out, the problem with relying on rules and incentives is that they demoralize professional activity. They demoralize people and the activity itself, and create people who only do things for incentives. There is a need for ‘system-changers’ and/or ‘system changing ideas’ at a district level. Administrators and teachers who are invested in transforming the current system (or at least aspects of it). Judge Russell and the Veterans’ Court, which Barry references in his talk, treats the criminal as an individual. Their life, problems, and their situation are looked into and taken into account moving forward with rehabilitation. Similarly, in the school system, rules and the strict enforcement of punishments for undesirable behaviors, at times can fail to see the whole picture (and individual student) and focus solely on the transgression. The ‘Welcome and Re-Entry Circle’ video was interesting to watch and definitely provided some insight into what this could look like in our school districts following a suspension or expulsion. It was interesting to see such a large group of people for one individual’s re-entry. That said, I think it was that substantial support and shared involvement in his re-entry that showed Cedric that there are a number of people invested in him and that want to help him succeed. I was really touched by the comments and sharing that occurred in the rounds that followed the introductions and values rounds. I could see the affect of what was being shared had on Cedric. Specifically, “To support you (Cedric), I’ll be that person who…”. I was really able to see how this network of people (from all aspects of this boy’s life) were coming together and accepting, even welcoming, their personal role and responsibility in his successful re-entry. This collective group had come together to move forward. They developed an individualized plan, with the necessary supports in place, and a shared responsibility in monitoring and implementing the resources.
The inquiry question I pursued was, “How can I implement circles in my teaching practice to help students work towards expressing and sharing their emotions in a genuine and authentic way?” Several sub-questions arose within my inquiry and were examined. What strategies can I implement in circles to create an opportunity for students to speak from the heart? How can I use circles to ensure that learning is reflective and relational? In what way can circles bring about awareness of the whole being (looking holistically at the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of the being)?
Nancy Riestenberg, NACRJ Advisory Council Member Author, Circle in the Square. Restorative Practices Specialist, Minnesota Dept. of Education Howard Zehr reminds us to watch for both the intended and unintended consequences of our actions. Some unintended consequences are harmful, and but sometimes they are positive. I have been thinking about what could possibly be a positive outcome of the increase of reported bullying and racial, sexual, religious harassment in schools in the wake of the election. Stories of both individuals and groups of students threatening, harassing and grabbing other students certainly challenge the schools who are charged with teaching all the nation’s children. The good news is that there are stories all over the country, where educators—teachers, educational assistants, and whole buildings with the support of the administration—are responding proactively by changing routine, and giving both staff and students time to talk. Circle outlines have been developed so that adults, who may have many feelings themselves about current events, are able to remember to say, in the middle of their circle, ”My ears and my heart are open to whatever people would like to share.” Feelings are never wrong.” One teacher sent me the following testimony for talking, so students can learn: “I used circle process yesterday with our fifth grade community divided into 3 groups. We also were able then to have them follow up with journaling which they could choose to tie into their interpretive essay opinion piece. The sharing was amazing and insightful. We were brought to tears when one student (Somali male age 10) titled his journaling, ‘I Belong Here!’” A high school social worker reported: “All Circles at school talked about the election. The day of the election and the day after. I think it was pretty scary for some of our East African students. Students had a lot of questions about the election process and where we go from here.” Proactive talk, art, action and mindful practices can help student express their feelings so they can connect to their prefrontal cortex and learn. But what to do when students hurt each other? That will happen, regardless of pro-active work. Almost all states have laws that direct public schools to respond to bullying. Most educators and most of the general public are aware that bullying is harmful to both the person who is the target of the bullying, and also deteriorates the overall learning environment of the school. What may not be as obvious, is that bullying behavior is also not useful to the person who bullies. An analysis of the Minnesota Student Survey showed that many students who bully and many students who are bullied share related experiences, most of them negative. Students involved in bullying are more likely to report that they experience physical, sexual or emotional abuse, dating violence, feel less connected to peers and are less likely to report that their teachers, family or community care about them. The challenge to adults responding to bullying and harassment is to remember three things about students who are harmed and students who do the harm:
Because I believe that students’ behavior have to be considered within the context of the environment that they are in, it is imperative (and only fair) to change our approach and try the “true justice” as Zehr writes. “True justice requires instead, that we ask questions such as these: Who have been hurt? What do they need? Whose obligations and responsibilities are these? Who has a stake in this situation? What is the process that can involve the stakeholders in finding a solution?” When I think of applying these questions to some of the cases that we have heard across the nation, I think especially about the question, “Who has a stake in this situation?” If a student has been harmed with bullying or harassment that is a very serious situation. Both the student who was harmed and the student who did the harm need support. Inviting family members who may be mortified at their child’s behavior to a repair of harm process helps to provide support to the parents. It helps them separate who they are as people and who their family is, from the behavior of their child—a helpful discharge of understandable feelings of embarrassment or shame. Inviting family member who have been hurt because their child has been hurt, need support to support their student. They also need to be offered the opportunity for empathy for all the people affected by the harm. They need their sense of embarrassment (why did this happen to my child?) heard and discharged through caring support. Inviting family members who may in a first response minimize the behavior, but who are willing to come to a repair of harm process nonetheless, provides them with an opportunity to learn the effects of words and actions on real people. The effect of words and actions spoken on a screen can seem like a fiction. But sitting in the same physical space with other people is engaging in reality. The invitation for empathy is strong. The opportunity to reflect upon all actions and words is offered. Support is given again to efforts that separate behaviors from a person’s inherent value as a human being. Everyone—the person harmed and the person who did the harm, as well as their family and other people affected by the harm, are offered an opportunity to be supported even as they may feel embarrassment or shame. This support is offered explicitly—I am glad you are here, we need you to help repair this harm—and implicitly. People get to talk without interruption. Everyone is invited to listen. All people are greeted with a smile when they arrive. All ideas and feelings are considered. Cookies are offered at the end. I believe, as circle keepers Carolyn Boyes Watson and Kay Pranis teach that that “all human beings have a deep desire to be in a good relationship.” I believe that parents want that for their children. So the unintended positive outcome of bullying and harassment, exposed in such a raw way today, could be that we help each other fulfill that deep desire. That by addressing harm we can use the gifts that we all have, as “everyone is needed for what they bring.” So when you hear, in your community, of bullying, harassment or a hate crime in a school, call the principal and leave a message: say, “Have you considered a restorative process?” As a teacher and as a teacher learner, over the past couple of months I believe I have grown both professionally and personally. This growth, is in large part due to the learning and connections I have made through our course. Not only have I broadened my view and challenged some of my preexisting beliefs, I have also challenged myself to take my learning into my classrooms. For me, this was probably the most rewarding, yet frightening part.
My inquiry question for this term has led most of what I have been doing in my classroom circles, this alone has been eye opening and rewarding for me. My inquiry requires me to create a circle practice that is developed and sustained within the classroom in order to build community and trusting relationships. This has been difficult for me, because like Alicia I am in 4 different classrooms. For the first time since I began contract work I have really struggled to connect on the level I am used to with my students. It is not the same as seeing and connecting with students on a daily basis. That said, I have tried to use classroom circles to try and provide my students with the opportunity to practice social and emotional skills, as they learn to share their feelings and stories with each other. This time with each class has really helped me feel more connected to each class- something I am very grateful for. It’s also given me the opportunity to get to know my 120+ students on a non-academic level. At Kway we have a strong school culture that embraces and celebrates the First Peoples Principles of Learning. This support and the resources that have been provided to me as a result have been invaluable and have definitely impacted my circle practice in a positive way. Dalhousie conference presentations on the Dentistry process:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFcZjYDP_3PhJsPzRl8CsFapxUEuPJocp Changing Campus Culture and Climate | Melissa MacKay Changing Campus Culture and Climate | Jacob MacIsaac I appreciated Jacob’s candor; he was a sincere and engaging speaker. I particularly liked, and agreed with, his statement about the need for leaders who are patient and want to take roles and responsibilities that make a difference. Jacob goes on to say that change happens where you are, and is only possible when you invest and you have strong leaders within the institution that want to invest. Jacob’s presentation made me realize how important it is for teachers and administrators to commit to a restorative approach in schools if we want to see a culture change in our schools and the education system. After having done some restorative circles where a conflict and/or dispute was being discussed, I found a lot of truth in Jacob’s statement (his own realization) that when students think that someone else is going to get in trouble they’re less likely to speak up, but when it sounds like actual change might happen for the better, the truth tends to flow. This obviously requires a degree of trust between the institution and the students. How do we assure our students, as teachers and not policy makers or administrators, that the system is changing (and that we are trying to change it)? What about school codes of conduct, district rules, and behaviour expectations? What about the parents who have a child that was harmed and are putting pressure on the admin to suspend the student who did the harm? These are all questions that arose for me thinking about my role and the impact I can (try to have) in changing the school climate and culture. Melissa MacKay’s presentation highlighted the obligation and responsibility that schools (as sites of education and transformation) have in building just and healthy communities of belonging and safety. I agree 100%, schools are shaping the future generations and how we teach our students and model how to justly deal with conflict is going to affect society in the present and the future as a whole.
I took a lot from Kay's article, "Telling Our Stories and Changing Our Lives" in the VOMA newsletter. As a teacher, and as a student in this course, I have experienced how empowering circles can be (through listening and through sharing).
In Kay's article she says, "Sharing our self we open places for others to connect to us, to find common ground with us, to know us more completely." I love listening to my kids tell their stories, whether it's a funny memory, a happy moment, or something they did on the weekend. When they have the spotlight and creating their own personal narrative they feel empowered. The sense of ownership and exclusivity of their personal experience sparks a fire and often gives them confidence I don't always see in class discussions of lessons. "In telling our story we may uncover something of ourselves or our relationships to others that we were not aware of." It's very rare that a kid tells me a story and I don't learn something new about them, their family, their interests, etc. That said, I never really considered storytelling as a form of self-reflection. Reading Kay's article brought that to light; she explains that in "telling our story we articulate how we understand what has happened to us, why and how it has impacted us, how we see ourselves and others. Actually voicing those understandings provides an opportunity to examine the thoughts, assumptions, ideas undergirding our story." As I read this, all I could think of was, "is this why teachers like to tell stories so much? Self-reflection, talking it out?" I found the Center for Nonviolent Communication website very useful (several good resources I ended up printing off to assist me in my field study). Specifically, the 'Needs Inventory List', the 'Feelings Inventory List', as well as 'The 2 Parts and 4 Components of NVC Model'.
On the site, the authors refer to NVC as compassionate communication. Personally, I prefer this term to nonviolent communication. Communication, in the context of RJE is multi-faceted. It is composed of language and word choice, volume and tone, body language, facial expressions, physical demeanour (posture), and so on. These can be conscious and/or subconscious behaviours and actions, all of which contribute to and impact the intended (or unintended) nature of communication. As a silent observer last week (as opposed to circle facilitator and participant) the above became very apparent and resulted in more reflection on my part as I move forward. The components of NVC model features two essential actions: empathetically listening and honestly expressing (observations, feelings, needs, requests). Compassion is the motivation, similarly at school when circles are implemented they are essentially forums for students to express their feelings and experiences, as well as listen to their peers and hopefully (end goal) empathize. In the future, I may introduce this model to my students along with the needs and feelings list. I think sometimes middle school students need some help identifying/naming their feelings and their needs. The lists will be a great tool to assist them in identifying both. |
K. JonesGrade 6/7 Teacher Archives
August 2017
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