To the person who harmed (OOPS) What happened? (story telling phase) What were you thinking at the time? What have you thought about since? Who has been affected/harmed? (affective questioning) What needs to happen to repair the harm? (responding to)
To the person who was harmed (OUCH) How have you been harmed/affected? What is the hardest/most difficult part for you? What would you like to see happen? If punitive response: "And what will that achieve?"